So here we are.
If you’re one of the first people to sign up to this grand spanking, sweet ass site then welcome. In the coming years when it becomes the cool place to know about, you’ll be able to state with authority that you were here first and you much prefer my older work. In the meantime we can draw people here like bees to honey with the knowledge that we are the freedom fighters of the comedy world, where we can have a good laugh while stating categorically we have never seen a Dane Cook movie and we can rub ourselves in the goodness that everyone is welcome…except for that weird kid at the window who appears to have swine flu. Get better son and then you too can join our elite squad of merry making jokesters.
“I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to go and live in that pokey little house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh, ever so many lessons to learn.”
Ah Alice in Wonderland, how right you are! Who the fuck wants to be Mabel? She sounds like a right bore and she can stay outside with the kid who has swine flu. Until Mabel learns how to get her fun on there is no place for her here.
So what can we expect from this new shiny site? Well there will be the usual: updates for gigs, updated bios to let you know what I’ve been up to, a column that will be written on a regular basis and posted for all your greedy intentions.
But wait, there’s more!
By signing on to the good ship Hammo you will be able to win tickets to my shows at all good cities where comedy festivals are held. I will also slowly but surely reveal to you secrets from my previous career. The Bunta Boys are now just a hazy memory, spoken of in whispers in the dark dingy rooms that line the backstreets of old Adelaide town. I will post photos. I will post lyrics to songs. Heck, depending on the quality I will post performances just to get my cringe factor pumped up to eleven. Why do this? I’m not sure, but it will be fun and brutal and surely that is enough reason in the end.
As for “Babble” well, that will come out regularly and will consist of all manner of talking points whether it be a rant on my latest obsession, a short story, an interview with someone I think is ace or a review of something that I either love, hate or feel indifferent too. There are no rules for this column and that is the tastiest treat I can offer at such an early stage of our relationship.
“I do wish they would put their heads down! I am so very tired of being all alone here!”
Thanks Alice, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Tell your friends to come on down, we’re having a party and there’s plenty of room to swing your arms while you dance like a crazy person. The Mayan calendar finishes in 2012 and there is meant to be all types of terrible things happening but I’m pretty certain everyone who becomes a member of this site will reach such a monumental transcendence over life we will ride out the apocalypse and start a new world in our happy Eden. Either that or we’ll meet up at some gigs at some point, share a drink and laugh our arses off until the early morning. As long as we’re intoxicated I’m ready for anything.
Until then I must say it was lovely to meet you and I look forward to seeing more of you in the near, dear future.
But until then a quick word from the Dame:
“Well, how come you only want tomorrow
With its promise of something hard to do
A real life adventure worth more than pieces of gold
Blue skies above and sun on your arms, strength in your stride
And hope in those squeaky clean eyes”.
September 1st 2009